Observing.

I feel like lately I have just been watching myself live, not really living, like a boring documentary. How in the world did that happen?

More Than A Class. A Test.

Doubt has crept in and made its home right beside faith, where it should be. I've been asked questions in an academic setting that have affected me on a spiritual level. I had previously thought that God would give me all the answers I wanted to know, "Ask and it shall be given." But now I wonder if I have been somehow egotistical in my endeavors. Who am I to know the wiles of God? Am I wrong in wanting to know answers? Now some are easy, you just have to read and not get your own ideas in the way. Others, however, are completely unanswerable. Like why do bad things happen? OMG how am I supposed to get that one? Job never really figured that one out. Burdens from the past have crept upon me. I am reminded of dark times full of false teachings. He thought he knew everything too. My faith is strong, my relationship still growing, but I've come off the mountain and entered the valley. Pray for me.

Disappointment Leads to Preperation.

God answers prayer. That's a fact. But he often answers NO. Whether we like it or not. This happened recently with yours trully. I asked God to either confirm something in my life, or release it. So a month of earnest prayer later, he released me from it. It hurt, it hurt REAL bad. But it was worth it. Now have I COMPLETELY let go yet? Unfortunately no. But things take time. What is AMAZING is how God removes the bad, and replaces it with the good. In my case, it all happened within a weekend. Now I am ready to prepare myself for what God has in store.

Its not about me anymore.